I wrote a book no one will read
Backstory
I had never really seen myself as a novelist, 7 months ago. When I was younger, I used to enjoy making little stories and reading books. I even won a young authors’ award in 5th grade for a Tom and Jerry-esque story I wrote and illustrated. I wrote about that book and my experience stepping into the light and embracing the title writer in my post Fear of Being Seen Doing What I Love.
Even though I’ve known writing brought me joy, as an adult, I never wanted to take the steps to actually try writing a full-length novel (50k+ words). I have a history of fear of failing. I grew up an overambitious, high-achieving child, teen, and young adult. I hate not being good at something; I despise it truly. But in my mid-20s, I felt lost. I kept exploring different hobbies and interests, but nothing stuck until I found my way back to writing (and then my frontal lobe development hit HARD, y’all.)
Three months before my 30th birthday, something shifted.
The end of my 20s started closing in, and I found my way back to writing. I found poetry. Specifically, I read Renee Watson's Black Girl You Are Atlas at a bar by myself with a glass of red wine, and it sparked my creative soul. Poetry brought a bright light into my life that I never knew was desperately needed. I made 15 poems in the span of 2 months (10 of those being published with magazines and zines now at the time of writing this). I experienced a burst of creative energy like never before.
A story appeared
A few months into 2025, a sunny day in March, I was driving home from work, and was jamming out to Donna Summer- I Feel Love.
A little about me, I LOVE the 70s era, I love black queer culture at that time, and disco music truly brings me joy. I am also VERY gay, and I thought I’d love to read a story about Donna Summer and a disco-filled gay love fling. I laughed at the thought. And a quote from the legendary Toni Morrison came to mind,
“If there’s a book you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.”
I had always thought of this quote, but never had an idea that sparked inspiration until that very moment. The spark lit and blazed in my mind. This story grew to include many elements that are so important to me: LGBTQ love, identity struggle, acceptance, found family, and possibilities of living your truth.
Immediately, I doubted myself. I thought it would be too difficult. I knew I had a unique voice within my poetry, but fiction writing was a whole different beast. I felt I wouldn’t be the right person to tell a story like this. It felt too big, too important, too different from what I’m used to writing. But I sat and envisioned this story, of black queer bodies chasing their dreams, discovering themselves through social and political strife, and it all became a lot simpler.
These characters are me; these characters are many Black queer creatives out there presently and throughout history. At the end of that night, I just knew bringing Black queer stories into the world was what mattered most, and I owed it to myself and others like me to at least TRY to tell this story.
My Writing Process
Below are a few points on what I’ve learned as I wrote my first draft: about creating a writing practice, discovering rituals that were perfect for me, and the tricks that helped keep me dedicated to finishing the story, to get to that momentous ending that only ~3% of people actually accomplish.
5 things that helped me reach that 3% group
1. Outline! Outline! Outline!
I am type A with any task I give myself. Like I said previously, I hate to fail, so I knew I would have a low chance of “failing” if I had a roadmap to the end. I found that having an outline allowed me to be focused when I went to sit and write. I knew the scenes I wanted to have on page, and where they were leading to.
First drafts are meant to be a skeleton of a story. Taking the time to create an outline of what the beginnings, middles, and ends could look like helps to not stray too far off the path. Doesn’t need to have every single detail of the story, but should hit the ideal main points your characters are going to go through and connect in some ways.
Most story structures look like:
An opener
An inciting incident that changes everything
A series of crises that builds tension
A climax
An end
But listen to your creative voice, what your characters and story are going to experience that you, as the writer, envision matters and makes an impact.
Books like Save the Cat Writes a Novel by Jessica Brody provide the most common story structure that you see in books. Also, researching other writers and noting the style of outline they use that you can adapt to your own story is so beneficial as well. I recommend Abbie Emmons How to Write a CHAPTER-BY-CHAPTER OUTLINE for Your Novel.
2. Rituals = Consistency
Building a ritual gained me consistency to write for the most optimal days throughout the weeks during this first draft process. These activities taught me and those in my life that I was preparing to get into my writing; it also taught me the importance of transitions in and out of writing days.
A ritual for me looked like:
Reading for 10 minutes before writing
Journaling 1-3 pages of my process before or after a writing session
Putting on a specific playlist dedicated only to my writing time
Explore what rituals look like for you. Is it lighting one specific candle that gives you the special scent for your book? Is it throwing on a specific cozy sweater when you’re writing? Or are you going for a 10-minute walk to think about your story before starting to write? So many options that can be curated for you specifically.
3. Celebrating milestones and telling others you’re writing a book
This was the part where I struggled the most in the beginning, but it seemed to be the MOST beneficial for me during this whole process. Many people recognize that writing a book is no easy task. I found myself wanting to hide in fear that if I failed, no one would know it. But I quickly learned that the people I had told gave me the encouraging pushes to finish, to share my ups and downs with them, AND to celebrate with them.
I had milestones for completing the outline, for various word count markers (5k, 10k, 20k, 50k, 70k, 80k), for chapters I completed, milestones for each ACT of the story, and I wrote a letter to myself to open and read once I finished the manuscript. I wanted to be sure I celebrated each step and moment because I wanted to remind myself that I was dedicated to my craft and that was worthy of celebrating.
4. The WHY
After a few low word count days, days were I would completely write trash and feel horrible about it, or simply have no motivation to get words down on the page, I always let myself take a short day or two break and reflect on my why. Everyone’s why will be different, but my why was that these characters’ journey felt so real, their dreams, their heartaches, their struggles, they are so real and important, and yet they haven’t been told, and it is my job to tell their story for them. The process of the first draft is for the writer and the voice to connect. That’s it.
So, go to the page with your why, write a small summary of your why, and put it on your computer wallpaper. Create a photo gallery of photos and quotes that inspire the why. Anything that will connect you back to the reason you want to tell the story. The story is for YOU to read, for YOU to journey through, and to keep. We owe it to ourselves.
5. Consuming content on craft (cater it to you)
Lastly, it is well known to be a great writer; you must be a great reader. I found myself reading various books on connecting back to the creative self and being dedicated to whatever that craft is, as I was writing this first draft. Find what works for you and what fuels you.
These books had nothing to do with grammar, or sentence structure, or any of those nitpicking things when it comes to writing. I solely focused on content that spoke affirmations to the life of writing and being an artist. Books that kept my why at the forefront, that reminded me to follow the calling to share my story, for me as a black woman to never be the bully in my own head, to put my creative goals to the highest priority in my life. I showed up for my craft every day, believing I can finish what I started, that I can show myself I am dedicated to myself and my journey.
Some favorite books:
We Need Your Art: Stop Messing Around and Make Something by Amie McNee
Write on, Sisters!: Voice, Courage, and Claiming Your Place at the Table by Brooke Warner
1000 words: A writer’s guide to staying creative, focused, and productive all year round by Jami Attenberg
Recommend listening- specifically for BIPOC Writers: Stop Creating Art for the White Gaze w/ Toni Morrison
So you finished the first draft, now what?!
Writers and authors know, revision is where the magic happens. Revisions and drafts, on drafts, on drafts is where a story really begins to gain some meat on its skeletal bones. So though no one will read my story (yet), I am glad to have finished; now to take a much-needed few weeks away from the story, so that I will come back to it with open arms, ready to tinker and tweak and edit until my eyes bleed. How fun!
- Alina
Oct 12, 2025
